Dear Captain Sex Kitten:
So what is "good" sex and what is "bad" sex? I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now, and I like him a lot, he's one of my best friends....But the "spark" is gone. I've been faking orgasms for three months now and actually fell asleep when he was going down on me last night. I've thought about breaking up with him a lot. There's other things about us that don't quite add up... but I really don't want to hurt his feelings either. I love and respect him, but am not "in love" with him. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Miss Mousey
Dear Mousey-pie,
I don't know about you, but I'd rather be single than sorry.
You have to talk to this guy. Break up with him, if you really do respect him and consider him a friend. You're not being honest, and the longer that goes on the more painful it will be when the truth hits the fan. You know it's something that you don't want to say, and you think he doesn't want to hear, and that makes things hard. But if you don't say or do something about it NOW, this situation can only result in more grief for both of you. Breaking up is hard to do. Just be direct and honest and compassionate - with him and yourself.
Also, forget "good" sex. Life is far too short to not experience the joys of awesome, amazing, mindblowing sex with wonderful partners you feel great being with. Sex is like exotic food, it comes in a lot of varieties - you might like it but you won't know until you try, so have fun figuring it out!
What do you like? How comfortable are you with your body? What feels great to you? What do you think of yourself, overall? Notice how this line of questioning doesn't have anything to do with another person?! Right, that's the point. In order to have nothing short of a spectacular time in the sack, you've got some homework to do first, but that's cool. We've all been there. This isn't something you figure out once, "happily ever after" stuff. Change happens, and that's actually great! Just keep going in the direction of things that feel good and exciting to YOU, and you'll easily attract other new friends, lovers, and companions with similar attitudes to play with. Figure out how you like to be treated (in and out of the bedroom), and don't settle for less.
Good luck, my dear!
-CSK
And now, here's my favorite Break Up song of all time:
Got a question for Captain Sex Kitten? Shoot: CaptainSexKitten@gmail.com
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