Monday, June 11, 2012

Captain's Log #1: Hello Kitty

Captain Sex Kitten here. Logging on from Kentucky, but always traveling to the farthest reaches of the universe in search of a decent date. I'm 34 years old and single on purpose right now. This is mainly because there's a distinct lack of eligible, non-damaged bachelors within a 50 mile radius of my home. Don't get me wrong now, we're all damaged goods. I've got my hang-ups, you've got yours, it's true. Just work with that, not against it! The key to the entire relationship razzle-dazzle is finding the kind of crazy that compliments yours nicely while avoiding those dangerously unstable nuclear reactor type situations. Of course it's easier said than done.

So here's some truth about me. I'm tall, 5'9”, and curvy, as you can see. Many years in the yoga studio plus some desert island survival camping with a rowdy group of ninja monkettes has given me an edge – the ability to look into a mirror and appreciate my tough, sexy body exactly as it is on any given day. Oh, and not everyone thinks I'm hot. What-the-fuck-ever. So what. A lot of people do think I'm hot. Not the point. I care more about keeping my body healthy than counting calories. My sculpted calves look great in high heels, but I'm more grateful for the ability to pedal uphill on a bicycle and climb trees with finesse. My bust in a bustier is luscious, however it's my core strength that always lands me on my feet.

I've met many other sexy space cadets on my incredible journeys, and have been in and out of relationships of all kinds. Boyfriends, playmates, girlfriends, one night stands, friends with benefits, man slaves, three-date-wonders, and much much more. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Come along and learn from my triumphs and despairs, darlings. I'll show you mine if you show me yours, I invite you to share your stories here too. We're all in this together. All we need is love, people. Love and an occasional night or two with a dreamboat sex-bomb who momentarily satisfies every need in our soul. Can I get a high five on that? I thought so. Let's rock.

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