Welcome to Poly-Wood

 “Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.” So says the Wikipedia.

I started pondering polyamory after a trip to Burning Man, an alternate universe where poly ideals live and breathe and thrive all over. People get “temporarily divorced” that week. There are camps called “Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet,” “PolyVille,” and “The Heavy Petting Zoo.” There is a public Bureau of Erotic Discourse (B.E.D.), with cheerful volunteers willing to honestly answer any question in a sex-positive light. Everybody makes out with everybody else and everyone is OK with it. Which is pretty much what this Hokey-Pokey is all about. 

Next I found myself momentarily blindsided by the hotness of a man who was “handfasted” into an open relationship. I wanted him BAD. But things never quite matched up. His girl took a strange attitude towards me right off the bat – maybe because she knew what we did in the back of the wood shop!? Who knows. I actually felt a little bit weird at first, even though I knew that she knew and it was supposedly OK. Fascinated, I asked him all kinds of curious things about his “primary” relationship. How to deal with jealousy, how he feels seeing her with somebody else, all that stuff you want to ask people that live a poly lifestyle. He didn't really answer these questions in ways that made sense, but he recommended that I read “The Ethical Slut.” This book, a treasured tome in Poly-wood, pretty much explains it all. Freedom and Love link arms, kick up their heels, and start down the yellow brick road.

According to sexpert Tristan Taormino, my relationship style is filed under “solo polyamory.” I enjoy being single, living my own life, loving whomever I want to whenever I want to. I develop flirtatious friendships and am open to having multiple responsible intimate partners right now. I have a “friends first” policy, because I prefer to sleep with people I really like who take the time to get to know me a bit. The idea of declaring one person a “primary” partner and creating a structured hierarchy just doesn't work for me, but neither does monogamy at the moment. Am I scared of commitment? Probably, I mean, who isn't?! Whatever. 

I take people and things as they come, but am very specific about who I hang out with. I am a wild social butterfly and love spending time with friends, but need to spend equal amounts of time by myself to balance that out. I love sex, but also love sleeping in my bed alone. Just because I love sex doesn't mean I'll sleep with anybody, in fact it makes me a lot more choosy. Everything changes. Relationships are fluid, I don't know what will happen or who I will meet next or fall in or out of love with, and I'll just keep on living and loving and see how it all turns out. Welcome to the never-ending story.  

Want to share your ideas on Ethical Sluttiness? Email your story to CaptainSexKitten@gmail.com