How do I know I'm not addicted to sex?
Sometimes I just don't want any!!! He could show up with chocolate
and flowers, buy me a unicorn, take me to the moon. None of that will
get him laid, because Kitty's just NOT in the mood. Thanks but no
thanks. Even though the unicorn comes close to winning the prize,
I'll take a pass tonight. Why? Because I want to sleep alone, taking
up the entire bed to myself. Because I want to cry about something
and don't want to talk about it. Because I want to stay up until 3am
and finish this story. Because I'm busy re-drawing the plans for my
flying skateboard. Whatever I need right now, it's not about sex.
Candy. Motorcycles. Cocktails. Sexy
men. CAUTION: Over-doing any of these otherwise awesome things may
cause you to throw up, get hurt, or end up in jail. You name it,
there's probably a way to over indulge in it! In fact, I've probably
already found out how, and can point you towards the debauchery
you're looking for.
Hey, Captain Sex Kitten doesn't judge.
However, I do strongly suggest that you declare some boundaries. Just
a few, nothing epic. Have one or two pieces of candy, dear, then pass
the dish along. Don't drive that motorcycle like you stole it. If two
to four drinks will give you a buzz, then stop there. Just because
you CAN have crazy jungle sex every single night of the week, doesn't
mean you should do that. I mean, not all the time.
Captain Sex Kitten here, saying that
there's more to life than sex. Sometimes you really need to take a
break from getting laid, or trying to get laid as the case may be.
Stop and smell the roses, ride your bike, get a beer with your best
friends, read a fucking book! An infinite array of satisfying things
besides sex await your attention in life.
Got sass, class, and a great ass? Captain Sex Kitten wants to hear from you!
Send submissions to CaptainSexKitten@gmail.com
Very well said! I think I should go read a fucking book myself!
ReplyDeletePerspective. Crazy awesome.
ReplyDelete